Back home again in Indiana...

This week Kristen and I went up to spend time with my family who were up visiting my Grandmother in Indianapolis. I like Indiana...I'm actually rather fond of the midwest in general. In my mind, it really is the heart of America.

Anyway, we were up there for a few days, and the second night we played some poker...notice in the background my cardshark wife, serious as a heart attack. She looks all nice and sweet, but she can play some Texas Hold 'em! We also enjoyed some of Kentucky's finest, consuming multiple bottles of Ale8. Notice here one of my spectacular hands that, if I remember correctly, lead to nothing whatsoever. Nonetheless, I triumphed, calling Benjamin and Kristen all in and winning with a pair (or something equally less stunning).

Our other big event was a trip to the Indianapolis Zoo. I have a fondness for zoos, I even kind of like the smell. Zoos in the midwest are different from zoos in Florida. For one, they tend to have more aquatic animals: we prefer to give them their own parks in Florida. Also, Florida tends to have herds of african animals and fewer from colder climate areas, while I find the reverse is true in the midwest. One thing all zoos have in common however, is lemurs. People love lemurs, and it seems the lemurs hate water, because it's all that separates them from us, yet they never swim over to say hello.

Here, Andrew and Benjamin are pretending to be Sea Lions- Mom's proud of these two...

Before I go any further, I have to give a shoutout (one word?) to Miami MetroZoo. There are many fine zoos in the country, but I have never been to one that has more animals than MetroZoo. Though you have to walk several miles to get through the zoo, it's well worth it to see four kinds of gazelles, two types each of rhinos, elephants, zebras, kangaroos and three types of bears. That's just a small sample of the amazing selection MetroZoo has to offer. Plus, they have a monorail straight out of the '80s. Tangently related to this topic, my brother Matthew had this to say tonight about elephants: "One of the best moments of my childhood was riding an elephant...They don't really attack anyone, they don't have an axe to grind, they're peaceful, yet large."

Matthew forgets the dark side of elephants- these zoo workers are using a pitchfork to clean up elephant poo...

At the Indianapolis Zoo they have sharks you can pet. Here's a video of Kristen petting a shark.

Right after this was taken the shark bit her hand off. Okay, maybe not, but I had you going for a minute. Also, I think sharks and I may be related.

Andrew once had a mean run-in with a Portugese Man-O-War. Consequently, he now has this reaction whenever he's anywhere close to anything with tentacles:

We went to the "dolphin show." Now, I like dolphins, and Kristen is crazy about them. They seem pretty smart and do great tricks, and seem to be enjoying it the whole time, so more power to dolphins and dolphin trainers. Unfrotunately, we were duped into believing that this was a dolphin show. They were very tricky at the front gate when they asked, "Do you want tickets to the free dolphin show?" This wasn't however, a dolphin show. Think about it like this: if you watched a commercial for a new car, and the car was floating on the water and dolphins were jumping over it, and maybe there was a dolphin the driver's seat or something, and the commercial ended, would you call that a dolphin show? No, you'd call it a commercial for a car with dolphins in it. This wasn't a dolphin show, it was a 30 minute commercial for Compact Florescent Lamps, or CFLs with dolphins in it.

I'm all for conservation, and I'm not going to rehash how I think it's ridiculous that he government has mandated what kind of light bulbs we can buy, but when I come to a dolphin show, I WANT TO SEE DOLPHINS! Instead the dolphins jumped around a little as we heard about some little girl who dug through her neighbor's trash so she could recycle the things they threw away. There was no mention of the fact that recycling is currently as energy-inefficient and pollutes just as much as not recycling, instead it was all a ramp-up to CFLs=saving the world. I am now under the impression that for every CFL I install, it will save one dolphin. I feel this equation roughly expresses what I was taught at the CFL show: CFL=dolphin. Therefore, the inverse must be true ~CFL=~dolphin. I had no idea I was killing dolphins with my incandescent bulbs. At least I can dim the lights in memory of my mammal friends.

Before I go on, here are a few comments from my environmentally insensitive family. If these offend you, really, you need to find something more serious than light bulbs to get offended about. Like I said, I'm all for conservation, not numbskull environmentalism.

My father: "Okay, we'll let's break a CFL in the dolphin tank and see how much they like it then!" (Note that my father is not actually threatening aquatic mammals, simply using hyperbole to get his point across.)
Benjamin astutely (and maybe a little sarcastically) observed: "Jonathan, that show was lit very well. I wonder how many of those lights were CFLs?"
Andrew said, "Less green, more dolphin."
Kristen said we were all ridiculous.

The Indianapolis Zoo also has a very nice desert exhibit with many lizards and deserty animals that I always enjoy. Here's a great picture that I took...

After our most excellent visit to the zoo, we went back to spend some time with Grandmother before departing for Louisville the next day. We all traveled down to see my Aunt and Uncle, cousin and cousin's son (my second cousin?) and then some old family friends, Susan and Jack Moss. Susan was my Mom's college roomate, and they have three kids: Elliot, Wesley (hiding on Elliot's lap) and Rhodes, possibly one of the cutest children I have ever seen. They also have a Portugese Water Dog named Socks- the dog's very friendly and I like him very much. I never thought I would actually see a Portugese Water Dog (there's not one in this picture, by the way).

So ends our trip. Sorry if I left anything out, but to make up for it, here are some amazing pictures:

Don't kid yourself...the gift shop is a dangerous place.

Andrew's default position when in a moving vehicle:

This post is dedicated to Stephen Castle Farrior, because he was upset that I have been posting so much about Great Danes. The next one's going to be about our puppy, sorry Stephen. Also, I have in the past incorrectly referred to the Bednar's Blog as George's Blog. I apologize for the error and it has been rectified. Also, I support George in his ongoing blogfight to eradicate racism and discrimination when it comes to baskets.