So, do you ever notice threads reappearing throughout your life? Sometimes it's reassuring, like coming home and sitting around the table with your family. Other times your weaknesses and fears rise up again despite being put down a thousand times before, and you get that awful dread in the pit of your stomach all over again.
On Thursday night, I went to the Behold the Lamb Christmas concert with Kristen, my brother Andrew, and four of our closest friends. I am continually overwhelmed by the talent and and genuine passion that the musicians on stage exhibit. I will quickly mention some of them and encourage you to purchase some of their music. They're all incredibly talented. Andrew Peterson is the creative genius behind the Behold the Lamb of God album (here is a short documentary about the album), Ben Shive plays piano, accordian, hammer duclimer and other miscellaneous, Andy Gullahorn, his very talented wife Jill Phillips and Andy Osenga rounded out the group on stage. Often they are joined by Derek Webb.
On the way home, my good friend Stephen Farrior asked George and I if we share his sentiment about the experience. He said, "Listening to them talk about Christ, community and loving others, think to myself- I used to talk like that. Why don't I anymore?" I share this sobering realization, and it's connected to someone that continues to reappear throughout my life.
When I was in High School our Dean of Men's name was Mike Proko (it's still weird to use his first name, in high school he was Mr. Proko). He was more of an example of Christ to us than any of us realized. His fair discipline was always tempered with the grace and love of Christ, and he made sure you knew that you were loved, by him and by Christ. He loved the music of Rich Mullins deeply, and though I didn't realize it yet, so much about him was shaped by it.
The summer of 2003 was a pivotal summer for me as I began to feel the Lord's call for the first time toward full-time ministry. The changing of my major, the first date with the woman I now am privileged to call my wife and plans for seminary were all to follow. In the midst of all of this, I was reading one of my top five favorite books, the biography of Rich Mullins.
Last semester I traveled down to the Abby at Gethsemani for a short retreat as an assignment for one of my classes. While there I walked the halls and campus of the monastery there and followed a path through the forest to a statue of Christ kneeling in the garden of Gethesemani. The experience was breathtakingly beautiful, moving me to tears as I stood at the image of my Savior kneeling in the garden, praying, "Not my will but thy will be done." Rich Mullins was a regular at this monastery, taking several retreats here over the years.
One of the great things about the concert was the ability to stand around and talk with the artists after the performance. Rich Mullins name came up in two of the three conversations I had, and Andrew Peterson makes mention of the Rich Mullins song "If I Stand" in the track "The Good Confession (I Believe)." It is the song that, as he says, "led him home."
There's something about the way that Rich Mullins saw the world that just doesn't click with me, but I want it. The way he loved, his understanding of God and the impact of Christ's death and resurrection were all profound in ways you don't gain from reading about them. I read about his life and struggle to think how I could devote myself in the ways that he did, allowing himself to be Christ to others. He wasn't perfect, but that was the beauty of it, and should be the beauty of our lives in Christ. This intimacy with the Creator and the truth of his Scriptures is hard to describe, but I know it when I see it and I know that I don't have it. But I want it.
On Thursday night, I went to the Behold the Lamb Christmas concert with Kristen, my brother Andrew, and four of our closest friends. I am continually overwhelmed by the talent and and genuine passion that the musicians on stage exhibit. I will quickly mention some of them and encourage you to purchase some of their music. They're all incredibly talented. Andrew Peterson is the creative genius behind the Behold the Lamb of God album (here is a short documentary about the album), Ben Shive plays piano, accordian, hammer duclimer and other miscellaneous, Andy Gullahorn, his very talented wife Jill Phillips and Andy Osenga rounded out the group on stage. Often they are joined by Derek Webb.
On the way home, my good friend Stephen Farrior asked George and I if we share his sentiment about the experience. He said, "Listening to them talk about Christ, community and loving others, think to myself- I used to talk like that. Why don't I anymore?" I share this sobering realization, and it's connected to someone that continues to reappear throughout my life.
When I was in High School our Dean of Men's name was Mike Proko (it's still weird to use his first name, in high school he was Mr. Proko). He was more of an example of Christ to us than any of us realized. His fair discipline was always tempered with the grace and love of Christ, and he made sure you knew that you were loved, by him and by Christ. He loved the music of Rich Mullins deeply, and though I didn't realize it yet, so much about him was shaped by it.
The summer of 2003 was a pivotal summer for me as I began to feel the Lord's call for the first time toward full-time ministry. The changing of my major, the first date with the woman I now am privileged to call my wife and plans for seminary were all to follow. In the midst of all of this, I was reading one of my top five favorite books, the biography of Rich Mullins.
Last semester I traveled down to the Abby at Gethsemani for a short retreat as an assignment for one of my classes. While there I walked the halls and campus of the monastery there and followed a path through the forest to a statue of Christ kneeling in the garden of Gethesemani. The experience was breathtakingly beautiful, moving me to tears as I stood at the image of my Savior kneeling in the garden, praying, "Not my will but thy will be done." Rich Mullins was a regular at this monastery, taking several retreats here over the years.
One of the great things about the concert was the ability to stand around and talk with the artists after the performance. Rich Mullins name came up in two of the three conversations I had, and Andrew Peterson makes mention of the Rich Mullins song "If I Stand" in the track "The Good Confession (I Believe)." It is the song that, as he says, "led him home."
There's something about the way that Rich Mullins saw the world that just doesn't click with me, but I want it. The way he loved, his understanding of God and the impact of Christ's death and resurrection were all profound in ways you don't gain from reading about them. I read about his life and struggle to think how I could devote myself in the ways that he did, allowing himself to be Christ to others. He wasn't perfect, but that was the beauty of it, and should be the beauty of our lives in Christ. This intimacy with the Creator and the truth of his Scriptures is hard to describe, but I know it when I see it and I know that I don't have it. But I want it.
1 comment:
I love you hon. This is one amazing journey and it's so exciting to watch God moving and working in each of us. I can hardly wait to see how He continues to shape us as we prepare for full-time ministry. Keep digging babe. God will work these things out in your heart and fill you with more passion for Him and his work than you ever imagined.
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