Quo Vadimus

Where are we going? That has been the question in this last week and a half; it has been such a roller coaster. We've been talking to a church in Missouri for the last few months, and I have been super excited about the opportunity. They're a 2 year old church plant affiliated with Acts29 and the Southern Baptist Convention, and situated in a unique area with a lot of needs and tons of potential for ministry. I had probably completed 2/3 of the process when I called them last Tuesday (the 8th) and they told me that they were going to go with another candidate. They encouraged me a great deal, but at the end of the day, it meant that we were back to square one.

I've really wrestled in the last week with getting back on the horse and searching for new ministry opportunities. For a few days I was just angry and frustrated, and then that gave way to discouragement and apathy. Kristen just moved into her third trimester, and while I am so excited about that, it makes the lack of any ministry opportunity loom more ominously in the foreground. I'm struggling once again with the reality that this will happen in God's timing, not mine, and that ultimately he is the one who will make it happen.

But, as always happens, the Lord put several reminders of his faithfulness in my path. My very good friend George emailed me after I sent him a discouraged email and reminded me that God is teaching me through this time, and that these minor difficulties will ultimately culminate in his glory. He said, "And you know that you can trust Him as He's never proven unfaithful. Not once." Of course I know this, but too often I don't really believe it. I need to believe it. Thanks for reminding me of that George.

Then, early this week, I sent my resume to several pastors that I had not contacted up to this point. The response was humbling and amazing...one of them immediately forwarded my resume to a church, another has a connection to a big church in this area that he was going to contact, and still another said he would even consider creating an internship for me until I found something more permanent. On top of all this, we got two incredible notes from my Grandmother on Thursday, offering to help us buy a pack n play for the baby, and encouraging us to persevere and remember God's faithfulness.

I am my father's son. I love to fix things, solve problems and do serious planning far into the future. I like to be prepared. But what that means for me is that too often I try to plan for God, to direct him in what I think is best rather waiting and listening to his leading. It's a lesson I have to learn over and over again, but God's faithfulness and his plan aren't always what I think or even want. Asking myself "Where are we going?" is a fruitless exercize in my own pride; I am learning once again that I have to ask the one who knows and patiently wait for his answer.