You know that scene in Star Wars: A New Hope when Luke and Han Solo have just rescued Princess Leia from the clutches of Darth Vader? In their haste to escape, they find themselves in a giant trash compactor, filled with all manner of filth and some sort of one-eyed, tentacled thing that wants to eat them. Just as Han defeats it with a shot from his blaster, the walls begin to close in.
"SHUT DOWN ALL THE GARBAGE MASHERS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!" Luke screams to C-3PO and R2-D2. Just as their fate seems sealed, R2 comes through in the clutch and our heroes live to fight the Empire another day.Someone asked me recently how my life has been going, and I responded that I feel just like Luke Skywalker must have in that moment. The walls seem to be closing in on all fronts, and right now it seems like there is nowhere to go. We were talking the other day about our little boy, now four plus months old; he'll be crawling soon and walking before we know it (he seems to want to now!) and there's no room for it. We can't baby-proof anything...there's nowhere in our apartment for it. We only sleep in bed together one night a week, and when we do have a day together, one of us is exhausted from working the night before.
We could move to a larger apartment, but that would cost more money that we don't have, and would mean that we would have to commit to a year-long lease. One of us could look for a new job, but that would mean new insurance and some of the jobs I have looked at require commitment to hang around, at least for a little while. We've maintained an uncomfortable flexibility for a while now in the hope we would soon be moving, but nothing has yet materialized. Now we're faced with a decision...should we make some commitments (maybe a new job and a new lease) to stay here? Or should we hold tight, hoping that an opportunity with a church comes through soon?
I don't know, but I know that the Lord is faithful, and that at some point, the walls will stop closing in. I just wish I knew when that will be...
I don't know, but I know that the Lord is faithful, and that at some point, the walls will stop closing in. I just wish I knew when that will be...
2 comments:
I love you baby. We are in this together and I know that on the other end of all of this will be a strengthened faith and a marriage more rooted in the faithful God we serve. Something is coming...sooner rather than later I hope. You are a wonderful husband and source of encouragement for me. I'm so glad we have each other.
Jonathan, I have been praying for you an your dear family, ever since your mother shared.
Life is hard. I know the Lord will reward your perseverance, and provide. Will pray for wisdom for both of you and that you have more time with each other.
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